Day 47 - Day 48

Day 47 Last day of September

I have completely lost my motivation. I did nothing. Well not true. I tried to do so and mething. I knew that I wasn't going to get a workout in so I figured I would take the little one swimming and at least run around the pool for an hour. We got there and she fell apart. Didn't want to swim. Missed her daddy and wanted me to take her back to her mom to wait for him. I turned around and went home instead of doing the right thing and dropping her back off at home and then going back to the gym.

Part of the reason (not an excuse) was a ridiculous woman at the gym. She completely deflated anything I was thinking about myself. A woman was there doing what looked like PT with another woman and was wearing vibram 5 toes. I have heard that these are great for flat footed people and asked her about it. Said I was thinking about getting them for my walk/runs but wanted to get some real world reviews vs ones found on the internet....She turned around and looked at me and said... "Someone your weight should not be running".... UHM. I asked about your f*&king shoes not your opinion on my weight. Also....she was about my size. Maybe a little taller...but definitely NOT a small woman. But still it really was a blow. Here is this woman who doesn't know a thing about me or my exercise level OR how I am doing it telling me I have no business doing it because I am too fat. 

Day 48 First Day of October

Woke up still feeling really put off about what that woman had said to me. Amazing  how someone can be so callous and no matter how you think you can handle anything it really effects your thinking. This was one of my work from home days and I just sat in one place all day feeling sorry for myself. Power inhaled Mike & Ikes and just felt like shit. At some point I realized I needed something from my car and ran down the stairs grabbed it, ran back up and while I was out of breath I didn't feel like I was dying. A month ago that wouldn't have happened. I would have gotten out to the car and back up the front steps and had to stop...and then slowly walked back up my stairs room and STILL been out of breath and feeling like I was dying. 

So...I threw my workout clothes on, went for a 2 mile quick walk and then took the baby swimming for the night. 

Basically I spent the evening giving that nasty woman and my own internal insecure woman the finger.

Some days you just have to give the bird to all out there who have something negative to say. Will I ever run a marathon? Probably not. I may never get below a 19 minute mile. I hope I do and I am working on it..but that doesn't mean I can't run. Be careful what you say. You might think you are helping and end up being the person that completely breaks someones confidence.

Be strong. Mentally. It will do more to change your physical health than you realize!